We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
