He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
