It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
