You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
