I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
