i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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