Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
