Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
