I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize