Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
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i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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