i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.