I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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