Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
