i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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