he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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