My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I did not marry a roomba.
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