her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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