I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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