you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
