I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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