My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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