my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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