he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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