I will die if light touches me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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