So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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