If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All the doctor said was why
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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