I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
