check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
