they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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