Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
