i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy