census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.