how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
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I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it