I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost