Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We got so high we made milksteak
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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