Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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