I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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