Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
