One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
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I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
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The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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