We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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