you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
