If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
