I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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