he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
