Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
