Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
