i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
