I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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