i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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