this boner is exhausting
I'm passing your future prison.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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