I CAN MOONWALK!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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