Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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