Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
