She's JV to your varsity
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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