Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize