he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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