I don't usually arrange sex via text message
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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