do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
