I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
