i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
