i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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