hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
