Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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